When I became a mom, my default altruistic and codependent nature reached a pinnacle.
I wasn’t sleeping, I did every single bedtime, nap time, diaper change, and middle-of the night feeding by myself.
My partner at the time was working abroad nearly every week and I had no family in town.
Although my body was still in amazing shape (considering I’d just put on 35% of my body weight to incubate my little one); I felt depleted, exhausted, and desperate for something more than caring for an infant.
I don’t recall even knowing what self-care was during those days. I knew I wasn’t getting “me” time, but I didn’t know that my needs were necessities.
It wasn’t until I began hiring babysitters when my son was about a year old to write my first postpartum book on Baby Travel, Go Baby Go, that I felt the electricity of getting some self-care.
Sometimes when my sitter came all I would do is nap and workout a little. Sometimes I’d skip the latter and just lay in bed, not having to do much of anything at all for a few precious hours.
Still, at $20 an hour, it was hard for me to find sitters in Aspen who could come regularly.
What happened before I learned that Self-Care is NOT an option?
- I was getting angry at my partner, my child, and almost everybody around me because I was depleted of energy; I was impatient, volatile, and critical.
- I played “victim”. Playing victim, refusing to take personal responsibility for things, and blaming others for your problems is precisely how NOT to attract love, energy, good vibes and abundance into your life. If I didn’t take responsibility for my situation, I was powerless to change it.
- If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you’re depleted and exhausted.
- BRAIN FOG
- My brain felt foggy all day. I often forgot simple words, such as spatula. Being that I’m a writer, philosopher, and teacher; this caused me to feel out of touch with my most sacred purpose in life.
These are just a few; I could go on for hours about why a lack of self-care does in your body, mind and spirit.
Rather, let’s look at how Self-Care can be obtained even when Momming keeps you slammed.
Get Your Mind On Board
Without taking care of ourselves, we can’t take care of others.
Mothers are best to their children when they’ve been good to themselves.
When your cup is full, you have more running over to give to others.
If you shame yourself for needing care or give yourself guilt for doing what you need, you’re not regenerating energy; you can workout, eat healthy, have sex, and everything else that would otherwise rejuvenate you… but you’ll still feel pretty miserable.
The first thing you must do to get great self-care is to make it a priority.
Your needs are necessities.
Motherhood is already pretty overwhelming. The worst thing you can do for your self-care routine is to put too much pressure on yourself.
Get into at least one habit a day that you’ll be able to squeeze in without hiring a sitter, if you don’t have that opportunity.
Perhaps it’s a bath with candles. Perhaps it’s hiking or cross-country running. Maybe it’s a 10-minute meditation or green smoothies before you start your crazy day.
Once you make a habit of these things, you won’t have to go out of your way to incorporate healthy habits; they’ll come automatically and you’ll start to feel your energy rejuvenate.
Seriously, mama; you’ve gotta take care of your body at all costs.
Stretching can help move negative energy out of your body.
Lifting weights can help quell mommy temper tantrums.
Taking walks outside with your child can supply you both with much-needed vitamin D.
What’s more, working out produces endorphins that act like morphine to help you quell depression and anxiety.
Just do it.
If you don’t have money for a babysitter, a partner who can watch your baby, or a gym pass, you can do at-home workouts in almost no time.
In the Moms Wear Capes we have an entire workout plan you can do while pregnant or shortly thereafter, totally from home by pregnancy fitness expert Tatum Rebelle. If you’re a member of this app, you get it free!
>>> If you want to build more strength and muscle with short, at-home workouts anybody can do, check out Moderna Muse’s fitness session in Module 7 here.
Find Out What Gives You The Most Energy
Not everybody regenerates energy in exercise, hot baths, sex, cooking, or painting.
Find out what gives YOU a burst of happy hormones and energy and bathe yourself in that.
My personal self-care routine includes a commitment to exercise every single day. I do situps, pushups, squats, or perhaps I’ll get on an exercise ball or some free weights.
This mellows me out a ton and gives me a positive outlook on everything else in life because of the happy effects of endorphins from exercise; and the fact that I love to stay in shape.
I also commit to either doing a study/devotional or meditation every day. If I don’t meditate (which is almost never) then I make sure to study from a devotional like A Course In Miracles, The Daily Stoic, or The Four Desires.
These aren’t for everybody, but they’re just an example of some books I’ve been studying from in 2018.
In the Moms Wear Capes Superwoman School we start our 12-week course in finding your purpose in life and tethering your relationships and work to that purpose with a 5-minute musing session by Moderna Muse.
Members in the school will then be led deeper into several meditations scattered throughout the course.
(Lessons 1, 21, and 43 in Superwoman School.)
Meditation is, for me, a non-negotiable mommy chill tool.
It quells anxiety, makes me feel more love and peace, increases my confidence, and studies show that meditation can help you rewire your brain may even reverse disease.
You can call in more love, compassion, and peace through meditation.
If you’ve never meditated before, I highly recommend starting with the Headspace App. It’ll give you a quick idea of why meditation is important and how you can start an easy 10-minute meditation practice at home today.
Superwoman School is the ultimate gift of self-care you can give yourself.
Check out this free video on mediation and get started loving on yourself so that you have more love to give to others.