I’m going to tell you this straight up: I’m the last person to ask about relationship advice.
There is a 99.999995% chance I’ll never give relationship advice, except to illustrate the numerous errors I’ve made via this very therapeutic and self-deprecating act of blogging.
You see, in the only two relationships I’ve had in my adult life, I’ve tried desperately to ameliorate my communication through: therapy; high-priced counseling with experts worldwide; voracious book reading; romantic vacations; and eventually throwing wine glasses across the room. (JK, I’ve totally grown out of that.)
The reason I’m telling you this is because I’m TIRED of sucking at relationships. I’m tired of having poor communication. And I’m especially tired of living in fear that one day my relationship will deteriorate and I won’t be able to kiss my sweet son’s face before bed every night.
It doesn’t have to be this hard.
I’m going to skip all the flowery narrative and just remind you of this: poor communication makes an otherwise amazing life miserable.
Fighting with your lover causes you to go instantly from light and peaceful to feeling like you want to sleep for days on end.
We all know this. (I especially know this.)
But if we all know this, why do so many of us still suck at communicating with our bosses, parents, friends and lovers?
Why are we stuck in a perpetual cycle of hot and cold?
Or worse, how did the man or woman of your dreams become the person you can’t stand to be around?
How do people go from rapturously in love one minute only to find the same lover unbearable to be around the very next minute?
Women spend years in frustration, feeling confused and victimized by communication that hurts them in the deepest parts of their soul and psyche.
Why do so many women do laundry with more gusto than sex?!
It gets worse…
One of my best friends sat in front of a very respected marriage therapist on Skype. It was the second of such reputable (and expensive) therapists she’d consulted to help her through what seemed like a never-ending nightmare of painful communication.
The couple held hands. They looked ahead with doe eyes pleading for this marriage guru to help them.
They were spending over $10,000 on the sessions.
They were desperate.
And then the worst happened: the therapist proceeded to lecture my sweet, loving friend on the importance of submitting to her man.
I almost died when she told me.
Needless to say, this did nothing but make communication with her lover worse. MUCH worse…
The entire problem in her relationship was that she was already submitting so much that she felt like a Mack Truck ran her over every day before lunch.
She was exhausted. She had nothing left to give.
And submitting to her husband wasn’t working. She needed love. Foot massages. And, dare I say it, some lighthearted fun once in a while!
But then I heard a piece of wisdom that gave me hope from my friend Gaby. She said, “the heart of the house resides within the feminine.”
I immediately called my bestie and told her.
You see, Gaby and I were at my house in Austin and she was sharing ideas with me from her Relationship Fun & Games project. There were a lot of late nights and a lot of awkward moments… for me!
I felt humbled and heartbroken that so many relationships I observed were so sour and hers was so… well – sexy!
I was tired of seeing my family and friends being berated by counselors who took their husbands’ sides.
I was tired of seeing grown ass women being told to saddle up and submit like we were in Victorian times and all that mattered were their ovaries and porcelain skin.
Gaby’s words were like a warm shower after a day of being barfed on by my toddler, who coincidentally decided not to take his nap. Can I get a #worstdayever?
Over the months and years I observed my friends Gaby and Raj first-hand at my home and during many late nights partying together.
Frankly, I couldn’t stand what they had.
Gaby felt loved beyond compare and respected for the deeply intuitive and very powerful woman she is. Raj felt respected as a husband and knew that Gaby was in his corner. She was happy and fulfilled. And Raj felt supported as a man.
Why couldn’t we all have this?!
Love Is More Precious Than a Yacht Full of Diamonds
There’s nothing that makes you want to jump off a high balcony more than marital strife.
I know couples who have so much money that they fly private jets and spend $10,000 on rare wines on a Tuesday.
But living in a bad relationship makes all the money in the world lose it’s value.
You become manic. You can’t focus on your children because you’re obsessing over what he said and the way he said it.
Or you’re choking on the taste of formaldehyde from the bottom of your shoe (which you’re constantly sticking in your mouth because this relationship makes you feel like you have Tourette’s Syndrome. You can’t control your tongue. You’re going insane.)
But as moms, leaving our husbands means leaving (in part) our beloved children.
I don’t know about you, but it’s a risk I’m not willing to take.
In my view, there’s only one option: it’s to FLOURISH in my relationship.
There are a couple things I’m doing to kick off the New Year.
#1 – I’ve scheduled a three-day intensive communication seminar in Aspen. It’s going to cost me a TON of money and my friends say it’s best for people looking for professional communication. But like I said, kissing my son’s sweet face every night is my main objective in life. I live in a small valley and there aren’t a lot of places to attend communications conferences here!
#2 – I’ve spent way LESS money on a marital communication course later this month with my brilliant friends Gaby and Raj. Shortly after that fateful day in Austin, Gaby and Raj FINALLY quit their “day jobs” to counsel hurting couples full time.
#3 – I vacuum up FREE training from the aforementioned love gods when and if it is available, no questions asked.
When I’m in a dark place in my relationship, it’s Gaby and Raj I call.
Several friends of mine have already gone through one-on-one counseling with Gaby and Raj and it’s changed their lives.
Plus, who doesn’t want to live by their motto: “Keep the Fights Clean & the Sex Dirty“?
Where do I sign up for that?!
There are a few spots left for Raj and Gaby’s January webinar series and I implore you: there’s NOTHING more valuable than keeping your relationship shit together.
Usually it would cost thousands of dollars for this course but they’re offering it at a huge discount for the New Year. (New Year, New You thing, I suppose 😉
During these short, concise webinars you’ll learn:
- A simple 3 minute practice that allows you to turn a fight off –almost like it was a light switch.
- A revolutionary blueprint to follow that let’s you both feel truly heard.
- How to turn complaints into requests that your partner will be eager to meet.
…And much more.
Join me in taking back your love life like a boss.
Do it for your kids.
But most importantly, do it for yourself.
You deserve a relationship that makes you feel confident, sexy, and secure.
Check this out >> [FREE]