I am honored to know a brilliant researcher and methodologist from whom I once paid $1,000 an hour for professional coaching.
This man has written over 180 methodologies in business, professional coaching, education, and even love.
When faced with his own failed relationship, he did what came naturally to him; he studied everything there was to know about happy relationships.
In his estimation, while 50% of marriages end in divorce, only 2% are happy even when they do last…
From studying every groundbreaking work he could get his hands on, this coach came up with 130 factors that people need from a love relationship that stem from Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs.
So what secret did he learn?
My coach reveals his findings with a story.
Of many couples on the brink of divorce that he brought into his office, he recalls that nearly every one of the marriages turned around when they learned one simple but profound truth:
“Love him the way he wants to be loved. Love her the way she wants to be loved.”
Here’s a story of how that played out in his office one day.
Independently, a husband and wife were recording stating that they needed the following things to feel loved:
Man: I want her to ask me how my day was when I get home and give me ten minutes of her attention. And I want a blowjob every night before bed.
Woman: I want him to have deep conversations with me before bed, and I want one steamy seven-hour lovemaking session every once every two weeks.
This doesn’t sound good…
Here’s how that couple went from the brink of divorce to acting as though they were teenagers in the throes of new love.
The wife began to see how her husband wanted to be loved; he wanted her to listen to him when he got home from work talk about his day.
The husband began to see how his wife wanted to be loved; she wanted him to talk to her at night when she was decompressing hers.
Slowly but surely, she wanted more sex.
Slowly but surely, he wanted less, more meaningful sex.
As the couple focused on how to love one another the way each of them wanted to be loved, their desires became more aligned.
Their love became effortless as their needs were met by one another.
Now Here’s The Tough Part…
Women are notorious for NOT stating their needs in love.
Do you know what you want from your lover?
Do you know what you need to feel loved?
I wrote a list, and it’s going to be very different from yours, I’m sure.
But here it is:
How I Want To Be Loved…
I want to feel wanted.
I want to know I’m special (the MOST special)
I want to build a tribe around us.
I want regular, deep conversations.
I want our lives to promote wellness.
I want to be lovingly touched.
I want to be appreciated.
I want to be admired.
I want to be adored.
What does your list look like?
Post it on our Facebook page HERE.
Also, watch this incredible video where Superwoman School Expert Ellen Smoak tells you how to rewrite your own love story.