If you are trying to improve your dating life as a single mom so you can have the partner of your dreams, and have the deep security you seek from a healthy and loving relationship, you need to approach your love life from the most powerful position possible: TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY.
There are two ways to approach dating: taking full responsibility or blaming your results on others or situations you think are out of your control. Until you take full responsibility for your love life you will be forever a victim.
Take a look into yourself. Pick a problem that you have been having lately with your dating life. In your mind are you blaming someone else for what is happening? If you are blaming men, for example, is that blame creating love and attraction or distance and resignation?
If you were to approach this same problem from the perspective of taking full responsibility would look at the problem differently? You may ask yourself: What am I doing to create this problem? Are there any actions I can take to solve this problem? What can I do to create a fulfilling love life?
Take Susan, for example. She is constantly complaining that she is not meeting any quality men. She says that there are no good men out there and that all of good men are gone. She is resigned and has given up on dating. But if you were to take a closer look at Susan’s actions you would see that she rarely goes to places where quality single men are. She only spends one hour a month on her pursuit to find love, and when she does go out, she does not make eye contact and men think she is not approachable.
If Susan were to take responsibility for her part, she would see that she is clearly NOT taking action in her love life. She is complaining, rather than getting present to the fact that she is hardly making any effort. She would also show up in public spaces in an open mood and available, instead of closed off.
Taking full responsibility increases your power to be the creator of your love life rather than at the affect of it.
Anytime we approach our love life from a space of victimhood we lose, and so does our potential for being in a loving and healthy relationship.
You can only win when you take full responsibility for your love life.
Taking full responsibility opens up new avenues, which allows you to create the relationship that you want.
Taking full responsibility means taking on the perspective that everything that happens in your love life is because you created it to happen.
Accepting full responsibility for your love life means being willing to do what’s necessary to create the outcome you want. You must actively steer your love life where you want it to go instead of passively letting it play out.
Accepting full responsibility can be very challenging. It can be personally confronting. You may not have had much control over the results in your love life so far, but the commitment to take full responsibility gives you the access to create the relationship of your choosing.
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley